Dion pointed out something the other day that I have been thinking about alot. It wasn't like a major life changing insight, or at least it didn't seem like it was at the time, but I am now trying to remember the thought in my parenting and in life in general.
Ellie has been in this "thing" where she wants to wear a dress ALL the time. It has been winter, obviously, and cold - and she is sick of all of her winter dresses anyway - so she asks to put on these strappy summer dresses. For awhile I was really trying to distract her, change the subject, and at all costs, dissuade her from putting on a dress. Its too much of a hassle to take her clothes off, put a dress on....do more laundry, yaddayaddayadda....So, naturally, I start to get irritated everytime she asks to put a dress on, since I'm operating on the premise of "try to avoid the dress situation -its too annoying"....So, Ellie, being the beautifully stubborn lady that she is, keeps asking and pushing and whining and asking....so I eventually ask her "why do you want to put a dress on, Ellie? It's winter (trying to rationalize with her, maybe i can convince her its sort of silly). So, Ellie says in the sweetest most desperate little voice "Because its fun". And Dion just melts. She wants to do it because its fun. Who cares. Why do I care? Is it really that inconvenient for me to let her put on a dress? What is the big deal? So, I try to indulge her....I say, ok Ells, which one do you want to wear, the pink with starfish on it or the flowery one? And she gets so happy! She is like giggling and can barely contain herself that I am going to let her put one on and help her pick on out. So, we have this little activity....putting on her dress OVER her clothes....that is the deal....and since, I have let her wear her dresses over her clothes to aerobics, to the grocery store, wherever, pretty much.....and man, life is happier! People might think we are quakers or legalists or something, but who cares. Ellie gets to have fun. And its harmless. There are plenty of things that I can be consistantly adamant about, wearing summer dresses in 25 degrees does not have to be one of them.
Dion reminded me that being a kid is supposed to be fun. Kids are so good at having fun. I get so much joy out of watching Ellie have fun. I don't have to spend every moment "teaching" Ellie how to be, although I think that is VERY important for a parent to do and I do it ALL the time. Its okay to ket her have fun and its actually rewarding for both of us, good for our relationship, and LESS stressful than doing more laundry or changing her clothes one more time than normal. Deep thoughts by Jocelyn Garrett...
Ellie has been in this "thing" where she wants to wear a dress ALL the time. It has been winter, obviously, and cold - and she is sick of all of her winter dresses anyway - so she asks to put on these strappy summer dresses. For awhile I was really trying to distract her, change the subject, and at all costs, dissuade her from putting on a dress. Its too much of a hassle to take her clothes off, put a dress on....do more laundry, yaddayaddayadda....So, naturally, I start to get irritated everytime she asks to put a dress on, since I'm operating on the premise of "try to avoid the dress situation -its too annoying"....So, Ellie, being the beautifully stubborn lady that she is, keeps asking and pushing and whining and asking....so I eventually ask her "why do you want to put a dress on, Ellie? It's winter (trying to rationalize with her, maybe i can convince her its sort of silly). So, Ellie says in the sweetest most desperate little voice "Because its fun". And Dion just melts. She wants to do it because its fun. Who cares. Why do I care? Is it really that inconvenient for me to let her put on a dress? What is the big deal? So, I try to indulge her....I say, ok Ells, which one do you want to wear, the pink with starfish on it or the flowery one? And she gets so happy! She is like giggling and can barely contain herself that I am going to let her put one on and help her pick on out. So, we have this little activity....putting on her dress OVER her clothes....that is the deal....and since, I have let her wear her dresses over her clothes to aerobics, to the grocery store, wherever, pretty much.....and man, life is happier! People might think we are quakers or legalists or something, but who cares. Ellie gets to have fun. And its harmless. There are plenty of things that I can be consistantly adamant about, wearing summer dresses in 25 degrees does not have to be one of them. 
Dion reminded me that being a kid is supposed to be fun. Kids are so good at having fun. I get so much joy out of watching Ellie have fun. I don't have to spend every moment "teaching" Ellie how to be, although I think that is VERY important for a parent to do and I do it ALL the time. Its okay to ket her have fun and its actually rewarding for both of us, good for our relationship, and LESS stressful than doing more laundry or changing her clothes one more time than normal. Deep thoughts by Jocelyn Garrett...
